Parenting: Teaching your child to make decisions

The ultimate goal of parenting is to prepare children to become productive members of society. But how do you lead your child from infancy to adulthood and achieve this goal? By teaching chilren how to make informed, confident decisions. When done properly, this can be an empowering exercise for children, but without the proper guidance decision-making can become overwhelming, confusing and counter-productive for a child.

Start preparing children to make decisions from the moment they are able to communicate. For instance, you can teach your new eater to sign the words "more" or "all done" before the child is able to speak it. This teaches the child the power of communication. Watch his face light up with delight as he signs "more" and more Cheerios appear on his tray.

As the child grows into a toddler, keep desicions limited to a choice between two items. For example, you can lay two outfits out on the bed and say to your toddler, "Would you like to wear the red dress or the green shirt and jeans today?" Because either outfit is an appropriate choice for the day, the child can express a preference that can be validated by the parent. "You do look pretty in the red dress. I think you made a good coice!"

Limiting the decision to two outfits eliminates the danger of the child becoming overwhelmed. If you opened your toddler's closet and said, "What would you like to wear today?" the child may shy away from making a choice because there are too many outfits to choose from. Worse, the child may make a "poor" decision. If he chooses to wear a sweater and long pants during the summer months, the choice would not be validated by the parent. A likely response would be, "You can't wear that today, it's too hot outside." The child's confidence becomes shaken because he has made an inappropriate choice.

Some children have difficulty making choices even when the choices are limited. In this case, it is best to guide the child toward a decision. Given the choice between a red shirt and a blue shirt, the indecisive child may need further encouragement. Because either is an appropriate choice, the parent may put the shirts behind her back and ask the child to choose a hand. Whichever hand the child chooses is the shirt for the day. Alternatively, given the choice bewteen yogurt or sugar cereal for a snack, the parent may guide the child by saying, "Well, yogurt has lots of calcium which is really good to help you grow. I think the yogurt is a good choice."

Teaching your child to make decisions can be a wonderful way to spend time with your child and to watch your child blossom through various stages. Remember, the most important part is to make sure the choices are age and situation appropriate. As your child grows, so can his or her decisions. Decision making can help transition your child into a confident and prosperous adult.