Relationships: Don't Make These Anger Mistakes

When you have an anger problem you can find yourself in a vicious, draining cycle. One day everything seems fine and the next day we're losing our tempers at the slightest things. On those days it can be hard not to make the same mistakes and slip back into the old bad habits again. It's important to remember that these habits and mistakes are causing us more harm than good with our health and our social/family/professional life.

Here are some suggestions on things you should avoid doing:

• Don’t make the mistake of trying to play the blame game. You can't let your focus on laying blame prevent you from moving towards solving or dealing with the problem at hand. What's important is making sure the problem gets dealt with now.
• Don’t try to tell the other person what they should think or feel. You can't control what they think and feel - only what you do. You wouldn't want someone else to tell you what to think or feel.
• Don’t turn an argument about one issue into something that includes dragging up old “sins” from years ago that you’ve been over multiple times already. This is just a huge energy sucker and a wasteful living in the past. What's done is done and can't be changed. The only thing you're going to do by bringing it up over and over again is damage the current relationship.
• Don't resort to belittling or threatening the other person to try to get your way. That kind of thing didn't even have a place on the playground at school. It certainly has no place in what's supposed to be a mature relationship.

If you see yourself in these scenarios too often then it's time to look for a permanent solution to your anger problems. There is help out there, including local and online anger managment resources.