• CommentAuthoragibrown
    • said   CommentTimeMarch 25th, 2008
     
    I am new to this site and specifically went out looking to vent somewhere. And this is where I ended up: I am so tired of being in debt. This is the first time I am experiencing this and having difficulty dealing with it. I live in Florida with my husband and two small children. We both work and enjoy our jobs. I have an irresponsible sister who works but blows money on stupid things (for example: she has exactly 25 pairs of tennis shoes, all of them in almost new condition.) My parents own two houses as investments, and unfortunately we had horrible tenants that we had to evict because they stopped paying rent. Combined they owe us over $35,000 and that doesn't even include the fix-ups we had to do after they stole everything movable and smeared dog poop on every surface of the house. (not to mention the son's gang relationship that scares the living out of us) And here starts the trouble. My family is not from here, so they don't work, no tenants, no income. They have money to keep themselves afloat, but these two houses are eating my financials up. My husband and I had to take out a HELOC on our house, max out our credit cards, monetary gifts that were meant for our children's preschool tuition are used for paying for those two investments, and now we are so deep, that I cry myself to sleep every night. Since we already have a HELOC, I decided to consolidate our 5 credit cards into a personal loan. I applied at a bank we've been with for 11 years, the bank that prides itself on being a relationship bank, that not just looks at credit numbers, but payment history (I always pay on-time and always more, than the minimum!!!!); so I had every confidence that there will be no problem. Imagine my shock when I received their reply and here they go declining my application. I am extremely angry and thinking about leaving the bank. I have good credit, not as good as it used to be since I have to use credit cards. I just want to ask the bank, WHY? 3 of my credit cards are with this bank so they know that I pay and wouldn't they want my money with them instead of with Amex? Makes no sensse. All I've been hearing lately is that the govt and every financial institution making every effort to help people; gee, that s not what I see. I love my family, I don't blame them and I thank God every day for them. I just need a way out and I have nowhere to go. The houseprices are falling, the lenders would refinance our house at a price that is not worth the expense and anyway would not cover the whole debt. I appreciate your thougths and if you have been in this situation, let me know how you dealt with it. We are selling the investment houses, but no buyers so far. I don't want a fancy life, just one where I can provide my children with the best and me leading a stressed-out life is not healthy for anyone. God, I just want to break free or at least see a light at the end of the tunnel. I love when they tell you to put aside just a little bit; but what if that little bit makes the difference between paying your mortgage or not. (no fancy house, just a perfect one!) I pray that I can believe again... All right, I feel better now that I vented!! Thank you for listening.
    • CommentAuthorstarling
    • said   CommentTimeMarch 26th, 2008
     
    Hi agibrown, welcome aboard and thank you for sharing your story!

    If you're serious about getting out of debt, I strongly suggest you read Your Money Or Your Life. The key word is serious. This book provides incredible tools to get out of debt but you need to be prepared to be extremely disciplined to follow their plan, which I was in 1992. I was tired of being in debt. Really tired. I remember having to borrow clothes from girlfriends for a job interview because I didn't have the money to buy a suit at the time. And, I recall being asked for money on the streets of Chicago from a homeless man. I turned to him and said, I have $10 to last me the week. The suit I'm wearing was borrowed from one girlfriend, the blouse from another, and the pair of shoes from another. I owned the underwear and pantyhose but that was it.

    In 1992 I bought and sold all my clothes at secondhand clothing stores. I was losing weight during the time I was reducing my debt. Every time I changed sizes, I would take the clothes in to a clothing consignment shop to resell. With the money I made on the clothes I sold, I would buy the next lower size. The cycle continued until I reached my desired weight.

    One day while I was bringing in my clothes to the consignment shop, the store owner and I began chatting. She said that the book, Your Money or Your Life, changed her and her husband's outlook on money so much that they both quit their jobs and started this consignment store! That must be some book I thought, I have to remember to get it at the library.

    The next day I ordered the book from the interlibrary system since my local library didn't carry it. I figured if someone changed their life that drastically over a book, I had to read it!

    I devored the book when I got it. Much of the first part of the book referenced how to live frugally and recommended Amy Dacyczyn's book The Tightwad Gazette. I was already familiar with these books so I knew these authors were on the right track.

    I followed the authors' directions to the letter by creating spreadsheets, and wall charts, and journaling, I did it all. I was so sick of being in debt and although I was making a lot of progress, I wanted to catapult my progress to the next level. Accelerating the process of getting out of debt was my goal and I just couldn't stand being broke anymore.

    Fifteen years later, after being out of debt for a long time, I decided to read the book again. But this time I would focus on the second half of the book which talks about living life on your terms. It focuses heavily on career choices, decreasing expenses so that you have a surplus of an income, and putting a roadmap together to become financially independent which is referred to as "the crossover point."

    I haven't reached the crossover point, and to be honest, I'm still developing a plan to do this. I still work a corporate job and rely solely on my employer for my income. Sure I have saved quite a bit over the years, but I lost at least a decade of savings because I was so deep in debt. I look at the financial appearances of friends and colleagues. I've decided that either they were blessed by not being in debt or hiding the debt their in and wonder if I can make up for lost time.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't know that I'm so tight with money that I can track every cent that comes in and out of my wallet as the book suggests. But, in the spirit of the book, I think the second read has given me a chance to reevaluate my spending habits and continue to dream new dreams.

    My next goal, be completely mortgage free. I hope in the next five years to have my house paid off in full. Then, maybe I will quit my corporate job and own a consignment clothing store too.

    Believe again that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and God bless. :smile
    • CommentAuthoragibrown
    • said   CommentTimeMarch 26th, 2008
     
    Thank you Starling for sharing your story with me. I am very inspired by you. I will look that book up at our library and will read it. We already put my family on a strict spending schedule (not including my sister, who is still young and doesn't understand... I have been taking care of her financially for several years while she was in college on scholarship, I probably gave her close to $20,000. Maybe she should read this book...)
    It has been very difficult, I am straining and I am hating myself for getting into this situation. thankfully I have a wonderful husband who doesn't complain and jointly we've been working through this hard time. I do have a side business that I had to set aside for now, but since it is with a direct marketing business, I do have a decent monthly income that is continuous. Anyways, I want to thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me, I can always use a fresh set of ideas. Thank you.
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