Relationships: mistreated

I can go on and on about being mistreated. Of that, what I hate the most is being disrespected. It took me a very long time to get over the fact that it wasn't my fault why I was treated that way. But now that I have, I feel so liberated, in a sense, that I have a clear mind and an open heart to the ones who really do treat me right.

I have the same problem with my Mother. And now with having children of our own, makes it all the more harder to understand that our parents have the ability to become absent from our lives. It must be the generation differences or the water they drank.

It’s amazing that my mother had the ability to complain about her father showing favoritism to her sister over her and yet favors my sister more than me. How does someone get away with having the right to complain about something they are doing themselves? It makes no sense to me. I even sat her down 2 years ago and told her that I would really love to have the same kind of relationship with her than my sister does. Her response was “Well, you have to understand that your sister and I have been close since she was born”. So there you have it. It’s my fault because she chose to bond with my sister when she was born and not me. For years I wondered what it was that I ever did that was so bad to have my mother treat me like an outcast. After she said those words to me it was clear that she never liked me and there was nothing I could have ever done or said to change that. She will always see me as this monster she created in her own mind and it’s a sad thing. She is missing out on me and her grand daughter. I finally gave up in trying to be a part of her life the way I had hoped. Now I’m going through accepting that it’s out of my hands and I can’t take anymore rejection from her. I’m better than that.